Until I started primary I spoke English 100% of the time, although I live in Wales both my parents are Scottish and at the time neither of them spoke any Welsh. Once I started primary school I was taught Welsh, I can remember there were a group of us who couldn't speak Welsh, and we were taken into the hall and watched 'Wil Cwac Cwac' which is a kids programme, and the teacher used to play a tune on the piano and would shout commands in Welsh which we had to follow, such as 'neidio' which means jump. There was a probably a lot more, but that is all I can remember, I can't remember how long it took but I became fluent in speaking Welsh.
So I was fluent in speaking two languages. Speaking English at home and Welsh all day in school. Until I went to secondary school. Which was mainly an English school, and over time I lost a lot of my Welsh. In the first few years of secondary school quite a few of my lessons where in Welsh, but by year 11 I had one lesson in Welsh which was Welsh language. By the time I was in 6th form all of my lesson here taught in English, and ever since I've left school I've hardly spoken any Welsh. Over time I have lost all confidence in speaking it. Which can be quite awkward when I see people I knew when I was younger and they automatically speak Welsh to me, I sometimes try and answer them in Welsh, but other times it's like something's stopping me and I just answer in English but I feel quite rude.
I speak Welsh a bit to Osian when there is no one else around and I can also speak it to other children. I just can't speak any when there are adults around. I have no confidence and feel as if I would sound really silly speaking it.
I have bought Osian a few Welsh books, I have tried my best to read them to him, but I sounded so silly. I just couldn't stop laughing at myself, I sounded like I was trying to read for the first time. As you can tell by my picture below each page as two lines, so you can imagine it's not supposed to be a very hard read! It's a book I could have read so easily whilst I was in primary, so it makes me feel a bit sad that I'm struggling so much now.
I really ought to try and get some confidence in speaking it again. I want to be able to reply to people in the same language they start a conversation with me. I just don't really know where to start, I can't just simply start talking it because I have no confidence in doing so.