As I sat watching Osian play today, I had this overwhelming sadness. It was a moment that would usually be a happy one. Osian was giggling away whilst banging his toy on the floor, but I just had a horrible feeling realising how much I'm going to miss him - he will be going to Nursery full time in September. To get him used to being there he will be going for half a day in a few weeks time. Then maybe increase it in August to a full day or two half days.
We've never really had much time apart from each other. I've popped to the shop, been to a dentist appointment and he's been taken on short walks without me, but that's it really. The rest of the time I've either been taking care of him or we have at least been in the same house.
Although I know that I will be leaving him to finish my degree, which will hopefully help provide us all with a better future. I just can't help but want to stay with him. I really can't imagine dropping him off at nursery and having to leave. We have found a lovely nursery, but after me spending everyday of his life taking care of him, how am I suppose to leave him with someone else watching him? It feels like it's my job and I want to be the one who's there.
I am not looking forward to September at all. I know it sounds like I'm doubting going back, but I'm not. I will definitely be sat in my lectures in September, I'm just really dreading it! I really hope it isn't going to be as hard as I'm imagining.
Has anyone who's had to leave their baby to return to work/uni or anything got ANY tips how to make this easier?